Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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