did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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