I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
