6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
