I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
