There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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