before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize