Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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