Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
