Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
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he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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