I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
foreskin is a definite game changer
They are going to name an STD after you.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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