dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
