How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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