Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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