i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
