I wish my penis had an off switch
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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