Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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