you have to choose: penises or morals?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize