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• (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"

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• (801): View more from Utah

  let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

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• (916): View more from California

  I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?

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