Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius

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(203): You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius http://tfl.nu/w3wu

Replies (32) Good night (12953) Bad night (987)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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(570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx

Replies (26) Good night (3683) Bad night (1052)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.

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(774): the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break. http://tfl.nu/7zwe

Replies (44) Good night (6250) Bad night (1271)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

thats actually pretty good logic

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(724): I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars" (412): thats actually pretty good logic http://tfl.nu/znkn

Replies (13) Good night (6301) Bad night (1311)
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(705): View more from Ontario

From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute

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(705): From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute http://tfl.nu/yhtx

Replies (8) Good night (1578) Bad night (4220)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.

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(732): I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked. http://tfl.nu/sxfw

Replies (15) Good night (6259) Bad night (2145)
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(314): View more from Missouri

you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"

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(314): you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole" http://tfl.nu/qzvn

Replies (11) Good night (2102) Bad night (1013)
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(770): View more from Georgia

You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.

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(770): You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL. http://tfl.nu/941m

Replies (3) Good night (1033) Bad night (583)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

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(901): She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied http://tfl.nu/t1al

Replies (7) Good night (1312) Bad night (672)
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(516): View more from New York

i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal

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(516): i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal http://tfl.nu/qt14

Replies (6) Good night (1979) Bad night (655)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.

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(586): I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird. http://tfl.nu/l2d5

Replies (13) Good night (1310) Bad night (474)
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(760): View more from California

He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.

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(760): He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative. http://tfl.nu/28jo

Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (400)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus

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(586): Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus http://tfl.nu/m81q

Replies (1) Good night (923) Bad night (337)
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(313): View more from Michigan

doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check

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(313): doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check http://tfl.nu/g53m

Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (235)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone

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(732): I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone http://tfl.nu/o83q

Replies (0) Good night (294) Bad night (87)

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