I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dating After Heartbreak
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.