Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You're like the curious george of whores
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm