After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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