Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
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Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life