ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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