Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
