So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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