1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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