You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
