hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
