did you get engaged???
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize