Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
