i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
