i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
