I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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