Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
