You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
