Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
