The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize