Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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