Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
