Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
