so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
