why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's blow job season.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
