just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
