He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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