Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
