i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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