her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
