just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
