If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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