i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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