I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize