The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
