Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize