I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When did angry sex become our thing?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
