Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
