I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
