i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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