You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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