We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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