Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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