at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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