another moral hangover. fuck.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
