Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
