Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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