you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
