I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I am available for nakedness
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
