Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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