evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
