Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
