I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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