I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dignity is for republicans.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
